What is a Vision? Have you put much thought into why businesses have visions? Many years ago (I don’t even remember when or how), I discovered the beauty of creating a Personal Vision for myself. I think I must have stolen the best of all I’ve heard or learned about visions because it is working for me.
Since my discovery, I now always have a roadmap in my life for where I am headed. When someone has asked me, “How are you?” rather than the perfunctory and uninteresting habit of voicing, “I’m fine,” I have had the ability to answer from the many different challenges that I am facing in my life as I move towards my vision.
Your Vision creates a future that pulls you forward from the present.
Hence, this is one reason why businesses have created 3-5 year visions, so that their stockholders, employees and lenders know the business has something at stake and is worth investing in.
A Personal Vision can be created for a shorter time period of 1-3 years. Questions I will ask you include: What do you see possible for yourself in 1-3 years? Who would you like people to “speak you to be” in 1-3 years? In other words, who are they saying you are? Are you willing to create your own future, or are you only going to allow yourself to drift into whatever takes you wherever it takes you? I call that “surviving.” I’m sure you have seen many people surviving in their lives. They wake up to the day with no purpose, no future, nothing to have them jump out of bed and hit the floor running; only a life of “waiting to see” what will happen. Yawn! BORing and fruitless.
Do you think Babe Ruth had a Personal Vision? From the http://www.baseball-almanac.com/:
“In 1927, Babe Ruth set the first truly long-term single season home run standard. However, his first Major League home run record was established during the 1919 season when he connected a then unbelievable twenty-nine (29) times with the Boston Red Sox. The 1919 plateau was considered at the time an "unreachable mark" until the following year when the Bambino smashed his own record by going deep fifty-four (54) times—then beat that record just one year later when he went deep fifty-nine (59) times. A few seasons passed and the 1920 record seemed safe until 1927, when the Sultan of Swat blasted sixty (60) long balls (details below) in just one-hundred fifty-five (155) games.”
It’s also worthy to note that Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times; however, that is subject matter for another Laser Coaching Tip!
Creating a Personal Vision takes thought. To “think” as in consciously using your thought processes. Digging into your values, your beliefs, what gives you pleasure, what gives you pause in your life; real unadulterated and rewarding thought.
Exercise:
Begin with one word descriptions of what people will say about you in 1-3 years. For instance, one of mine is “contribution.” Another is “joyful.” Another is “integrity.”
Fill up one full page of one word descriptions by writing down anything that inspires you. Next, pick and choose the words that “call” to you the most and circle them. Finally, put them together in a short sentence. Now I say short because you want to create a vision that you will remember, one that if someone were to say, “Hi, how are you? What are you up to these days?” you will be able to answer immediately.
You will be able to answer from your Personal Vision, from what you have created in your future that is pulling you forward from right now, and right now, and right now, and finally, right now.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Are You Fully Self-Expressed or Are You Like a Trained Flea?
Did you know that we, as human beings, are a little bit like trained fleas?
Do you know about trained fleas? Here is what was discovered...taking an ordinary jar and placing a bunch of fleas into it, it was found that the fleas would wildly begin to jump in all directions, including out of the jar, no matter how high the sides of the jar. Try it someday if you are curious enough or just begin to observe yourself in your own life as a bit of a trained flea.
This could be likened to how we experience the world as children...with a "YAY!!! LET'S LIVE OUR LIVES FULLY!!! OUCH, I FELL DOWN AND IT HURT BUT SO WHAT? WHAT'S NEXT??!!" Remember those days full of vitality, joy and full self-expression?
Back to the jar of fleas; if one takes a lid and puts it on top of the jar, the fleas will continue to jump up against the lid until they realize that there is something in the way of their full self-expression of jumping. Perhaps their little heads begin to hurt, and they actually start to scale back slowly until they begin to regularly jump to just below the level of the lid.
At this point, it was found that one could remove the lid of the jar and the fleas would still only jump to those few millimeters below where the lid had been. The fleas were now trained and would not jump out of the jar.
What if...
Looking back into our own lives, we ask ourselves where we have been trained. Where might we have scaled back for the fear of hurting our 'heads' on a lid? This may be a situation that was real or imagined. Perhaps the lesson was well worth learning such as touching a hot stove was a bad mistake.
However, where might a lid might have been placed on your full self-expression that was for the convenience of another and not specifically for you. For example, rather than focus on what would happen to you, a caretaker was more fearful of what could happen. Or perhaps we made a mistake in one situation and automatically trained ourselves that we could never attempt that type of situation again.
We might begin to ask ourselves, where have we suppressed our own and others' full self- expression such that we have become trained fleas in our lives and accepted "this is the way it is" regardless of a different time, a different place, a different situation...?
Consider that...
We may not even realize the extent of how we are similar to trained fleas. When an opportunity presents itself to us, we may automatically answer with an "I could never do that," or "I don't like those," or "Oh, that's not for me," or even an answer such as "Are you kidding?" Consider how we may be so automatic that we are not even aware of having been trained. What would happen if with each opportunity we stopped our automatic way-of-being and really put some thought into what was being presented to us before we responded?
Observation/Exercise
The holidays are approaching quickly and many of us will have the opportunity to share time with family. This is perfect fertile territory for beginning to observe ourselves as the observer in our automatic 'trained fleas' way-of-being in life.
The first step to altering a way-of-being is to learn to observe you in your own life. In the next month, begin to observe your conversations to yourself and to others, and how your automatic 'trained flea" ways of responding show up in your thoughts or conversations.
If you don't catch yourself in the middle of it, look back on the conversations or moods that you have noticed were not the most beneficial to your full self-expression.
What happened? How were you stopped or suppressed? Where did you stop yourself? What stopped you? Was something said by someone else that triggered your suppression? When was the first time in your life that you noticed a similar situation? How old were you? What were you doing? Did someone say something to you? How is it similar to today? How is it not similar? Based on your age today, how long have you been living from a suppressed way-of-being rather than living into your full self-expression?
In taking on the exercise, where might you have now gained freedom to be fully self-expressed where you may not have been before? Do let me know what you find out practicing this exercise.
Do you know about trained fleas? Here is what was discovered...taking an ordinary jar and placing a bunch of fleas into it, it was found that the fleas would wildly begin to jump in all directions, including out of the jar, no matter how high the sides of the jar. Try it someday if you are curious enough or just begin to observe yourself in your own life as a bit of a trained flea.
This could be likened to how we experience the world as children...with a "YAY!!! LET'S LIVE OUR LIVES FULLY!!! OUCH, I FELL DOWN AND IT HURT BUT SO WHAT? WHAT'S NEXT??!!" Remember those days full of vitality, joy and full self-expression?
Back to the jar of fleas; if one takes a lid and puts it on top of the jar, the fleas will continue to jump up against the lid until they realize that there is something in the way of their full self-expression of jumping. Perhaps their little heads begin to hurt, and they actually start to scale back slowly until they begin to regularly jump to just below the level of the lid.
At this point, it was found that one could remove the lid of the jar and the fleas would still only jump to those few millimeters below where the lid had been. The fleas were now trained and would not jump out of the jar.
What if...
Looking back into our own lives, we ask ourselves where we have been trained. Where might we have scaled back for the fear of hurting our 'heads' on a lid? This may be a situation that was real or imagined. Perhaps the lesson was well worth learning such as touching a hot stove was a bad mistake.
However, where might a lid might have been placed on your full self-expression that was for the convenience of another and not specifically for you. For example, rather than focus on what would happen to you, a caretaker was more fearful of what could happen. Or perhaps we made a mistake in one situation and automatically trained ourselves that we could never attempt that type of situation again.
We might begin to ask ourselves, where have we suppressed our own and others' full self- expression such that we have become trained fleas in our lives and accepted "this is the way it is" regardless of a different time, a different place, a different situation...?
Consider that...
We may not even realize the extent of how we are similar to trained fleas. When an opportunity presents itself to us, we may automatically answer with an "I could never do that," or "I don't like those," or "Oh, that's not for me," or even an answer such as "Are you kidding?" Consider how we may be so automatic that we are not even aware of having been trained. What would happen if with each opportunity we stopped our automatic way-of-being and really put some thought into what was being presented to us before we responded?
Observation/Exercise
The holidays are approaching quickly and many of us will have the opportunity to share time with family. This is perfect fertile territory for beginning to observe ourselves as the observer in our automatic 'trained fleas' way-of-being in life.
The first step to altering a way-of-being is to learn to observe you in your own life. In the next month, begin to observe your conversations to yourself and to others, and how your automatic 'trained flea" ways of responding show up in your thoughts or conversations.
If you don't catch yourself in the middle of it, look back on the conversations or moods that you have noticed were not the most beneficial to your full self-expression.
What happened? How were you stopped or suppressed? Where did you stop yourself? What stopped you? Was something said by someone else that triggered your suppression? When was the first time in your life that you noticed a similar situation? How old were you? What were you doing? Did someone say something to you? How is it similar to today? How is it not similar? Based on your age today, how long have you been living from a suppressed way-of-being rather than living into your full self-expression?
In taking on the exercise, where might you have now gained freedom to be fully self-expressed where you may not have been before? Do let me know what you find out practicing this exercise.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely...
A wonderful quote came to me by an anonymous author, and it goes like this...
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well- preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW!! What a ride!"
The quote reminds me to ask myself how I am living my own life.
I have not sent out a Laser Coaching Tip! since June because I had the opportunity to spend time with my 84-year-old father as he transited through the worst part of a serious illness.
My dad and I didn't get along in my younger years; he wasn't the best father I thought he "should" be. The vein of conversation I had about him was along the lines of, "if he had only helped me with my career choices, or if he had only attended all the father-daughter opportunities that were available to us, or if he hadn't traveled for work so much, or if he wasn't so gruff in his communications with me" and so on, "then my life would have been perfect."
It wasn't until I was able to notice that what was missing was my own commitment to be responsible for what I think that I began to have a fulfilling relationship with anyone else.
Yes, what I actually *thought* about my father (and others) led me to assume that it was his responsibility for me to be happy. With coaching at age 30, I began to observe my undermining internal conversations, and then I finally began to discover what my father had contributed to me. My 7 siblings and I always had clothes to wear, good healthy meals on our table, the experience of traveling the world and life in another country, and an education in good schools. This led me to the realization that I can take on anything and be as successful as I commit to be.
By learning to shift my way of thinking, in this case with my dad, I've been privileged to learn who my father has been in life.
He was born months after his 5 siblings and his parents immigrated to New York from Hungary in 1921. At 18, he joined the Army-Air Corps and became a fighter pilot, flying sorties on D-Day. During WWII, his plane crashed into a barn, and he broke his back. That didn't stop him; he got out of the hospital after having metal rods and clips placed along his backbone to keep his spine straight and went on to fly in Korea and Vietnam. In the early 60's, before the world knew it existed, my dad was a test pilot for the highly secretive long range strategic reconnaissance titanium plane called the SR-71, also known as the "Blackbird." He professes to have taken it to heights of 93,000 feet and to Mach 3.2. He shared with me that he flew "everything in the air" from 1940 to 1970, retiring from the Air Force after 30 years.
He took up skiing at age 60, and it was extremely difficult to catch him on the slopes. I could go on for pages! What I know is that my dad has contributed to me mostly by living the true meaning of "skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW!! What a ride!"
He's still recovering, and yet with my willingness to have given up who I thought he should be, I know if he is to pass away before I do, I will have truly earned the privilege of being loved by him.
What if...
We were to learn to consistently shift our thinking to what's right about or what works in our lives?
Consider that...
We will always be able to turn our mistakes and predicaments into opportunities for growth and relatedness.
Observation/Exercise:
In the next month, begin to observe how much your old ways of thinking about others have shaped how you are with them; the conversations, the actions you take on, the thoughts of who they *are* in life.
Next, begin to look from the perspective that you may really not know them as they are today, only who you determined they were years or even months ago.
Notice what begins to happen in your interactions with them. Is there room for discovery? Joyfulness? Compassion?
And, as always, do let me know what you find out practicing this exercise.
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well- preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW!! What a ride!"
The quote reminds me to ask myself how I am living my own life.
I have not sent out a Laser Coaching Tip! since June because I had the opportunity to spend time with my 84-year-old father as he transited through the worst part of a serious illness.
My dad and I didn't get along in my younger years; he wasn't the best father I thought he "should" be. The vein of conversation I had about him was along the lines of, "if he had only helped me with my career choices, or if he had only attended all the father-daughter opportunities that were available to us, or if he hadn't traveled for work so much, or if he wasn't so gruff in his communications with me" and so on, "then my life would have been perfect."
It wasn't until I was able to notice that what was missing was my own commitment to be responsible for what I think that I began to have a fulfilling relationship with anyone else.
Yes, what I actually *thought* about my father (and others) led me to assume that it was his responsibility for me to be happy. With coaching at age 30, I began to observe my undermining internal conversations, and then I finally began to discover what my father had contributed to me. My 7 siblings and I always had clothes to wear, good healthy meals on our table, the experience of traveling the world and life in another country, and an education in good schools. This led me to the realization that I can take on anything and be as successful as I commit to be.
By learning to shift my way of thinking, in this case with my dad, I've been privileged to learn who my father has been in life.
He was born months after his 5 siblings and his parents immigrated to New York from Hungary in 1921. At 18, he joined the Army-Air Corps and became a fighter pilot, flying sorties on D-Day. During WWII, his plane crashed into a barn, and he broke his back. That didn't stop him; he got out of the hospital after having metal rods and clips placed along his backbone to keep his spine straight and went on to fly in Korea and Vietnam. In the early 60's, before the world knew it existed, my dad was a test pilot for the highly secretive long range strategic reconnaissance titanium plane called the SR-71, also known as the "Blackbird." He professes to have taken it to heights of 93,000 feet and to Mach 3.2. He shared with me that he flew "everything in the air" from 1940 to 1970, retiring from the Air Force after 30 years.
He took up skiing at age 60, and it was extremely difficult to catch him on the slopes. I could go on for pages! What I know is that my dad has contributed to me mostly by living the true meaning of "skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW!! What a ride!"
He's still recovering, and yet with my willingness to have given up who I thought he should be, I know if he is to pass away before I do, I will have truly earned the privilege of being loved by him.
What if...
We were to learn to consistently shift our thinking to what's right about or what works in our lives?
Consider that...
We will always be able to turn our mistakes and predicaments into opportunities for growth and relatedness.
Observation/Exercise:
In the next month, begin to observe how much your old ways of thinking about others have shaped how you are with them; the conversations, the actions you take on, the thoughts of who they *are* in life.
Next, begin to look from the perspective that you may really not know them as they are today, only who you determined they were years or even months ago.
Notice what begins to happen in your interactions with them. Is there room for discovery? Joyfulness? Compassion?
And, as always, do let me know what you find out practicing this exercise.
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